Crack An Egg

I’m not entirely sure whether well-intentioned doctors fully understand the mind-freezing impact of prescribing, “No more eggs, no more butter or fries or booze…” What is left? Rien! Nada! Nothing! But wait, wait..do tell me…

I’ve just discovered something important. Under the heading, “Cracking the Myth,” the Egg Board’s web site tells us:

“Many Americans have shied away from eggs – despite their taste, value, convenience and nutrition – for fear of dietary cholesterol. However, more than 40 years of research have shown that healthy adults can eat eggs without significantly impacting their risk of heart disease.”

And now, according to new United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) nutrition data, eggs are lower in cholesterol than previously recorded. It recently reviewed the nutrient composition of standard large eggs, and results show the average amount of cholesterol in one large egg is a mere 185 mg, a 14 percent decrease from eggs of the distant past.

I’ve also long held the view that butter is good for you. It makes your hair curl and your teeth shine. Contrary to what many modern health experts believe, “Butter is actually good for you,” says Dr. William Campbell Douglass II, editor of The Douglass Report,  a newsletter dedicated to debunking common medical myths. Because butter is actually full of nutrients that are good for the heart — including vitamin A, a vital antioxidant, and lecithin, which helps the body metabolize cholesterol and fats.

Julia Child

Wise woman, Julia Child, acknowledging a gasp from her live audience explained, “If you are worried about using all this butter, you can substitute heavy cream.”

While readily recognizing that everyone can find someone to agree with — whatever anyone already thinks — I still can’t help thinking that butter which comes from milk from contented

Contented Cows courtesy of Dmitry Kalinovsky

cows who live in the country must surely be better for the soul than margarine, which is manufactured in the city from chemicals including terribly ‘bad-for-you’ trans fat.

Will all this un-magical thinking lead to a ban of mother’s milk, loaded as it is with ”bad” things including cholesterol, saturated fat and sugar?

As for fries: it might be a good idea not to SUPERSIZE.

And addressing the subject of booze, I remember a little story about Mark Twain.

Mark Twain, 1907

Upon returning to the United Stated, a customs officer asked Twain if he had anything to declare.

“No.” said Twain, nonchalantly. “Just clothing.”

“Open your suitcase,” suspiciously demanded the customs official.

When the case was opened, the official discovered a bottle of bourbon and turned to Twain, asking sternly, “What is this, Sir.”

“Ah…,” said Twain — “That is my nightcap.”

Genius is at work for anyone, who can explain the term ‘writer’s voice’ in fewer than 750 words. I’ll try.

I’ll begin by saying it takes a lot of courage to write in your own voice. Writing in your own voice means writing as though you are having a conversation with your best friend.

We all speak in many different voices. We pitch high when speaking to a gurgling baby. We speak differently when we coo to a beloved dog as compared to the one we use to talk to the cat — or when acknowledging the presence of a spider.

We speak to the boss — or the caller from the IRS — in a different tone from the way we address the person behind the counter from whom we are asking for half a pound of Swiss, please.

So the voice we employ for writing an article, or a book, or a blog posting must be the true one you really mean. Otherwise it’s like lying; it’s hard to remember how to keep your story straight. You establish credibility with your readers by being true to yourself.

Julia Child

I remember a writing student, who desperately wanted to be a successful cookbook author. She thought she could do this by counting the specific number of words Julia Child used in the head notes to her recipes — and replicating them. (Note: I wouldn’t customarily use the word “replicate” so I should have said “using” the same number of words.)

It was impossible to convince the student that it was Julia’s ideas, the accuracy of her recipes, her formidable physical and television presence that made her a national folk hero (not her actual voice!) with a voice.

Where do you find this thing called ‘voice?’ First, stop looking! You’ve already got it. Now all you need is the courage to believe your own unique way of expressing yourself is interesting.

Here’s a fine example of the distinctive voice that belongs to Diane Ackerman, the author of A Natural History of the Senses:

“Nothing looks more contented than a resting alligator. The mouth falls naturally into a crumpled smile, the eyes half close in a sleepy sort of way. The puckered back looks as harmless as the paper-mache maps of the Alps that children make in elementary school. The thick toes hog the mud like tree roots. Alligators, because their massive jaws curve upward, appear to be laughing even when they’re in repose. They seem caught in a great big private chuckle…”

Isn’t that simply brilliant writing? Every word is composed with infinite care. Diane Ackerman paints a picture in her own words. The description is factual yet evocative and stylish.

Compare this with the voice of Andy Rooney, complaining on 60 Minutes about advertising:

“The word ‘new’ appears in about half of all printed and broadcast advertising. Usually, the product is not only new; it’s ‘new and improved.’ If it’s going to be new and improved again next year, you might want to wait.”

Or, Alan Richman, of GQ, and multiple James Beard Foundation Award Winner, describing his job as a restaurant critic as “perceived as similar to ‘test driving a Mercedes or helping chorus girls in Las Vegas to get dressed…”

Jerry Della Famina

And, Jerry della Femina writing about my favorite subject: The Heyday of the Three-Martini Lunch:

“We called them silver bullets — they were six-ounce martinis made up of six ounces of gin, a drop of vermouth and a thin strip of lemon peel floating on the top, surrounded by a handful of silvery slivers of ice.

‘Straight up’ was the way most people drank in the 1960′s; ordering ‘on the rocks’ was seen as sign of weakness, as was the substitution of vodka.”

Absolutely marvelous! I can experience the sensation of the first sip!

Now you try. Paint a picture of an event; write a book review; describe the smell of an onion or the pain of a toothache in your very own, beautiful voice.

Next Wednesday: the topic is how to write a book review.

Courtesy of monicabhide.com

David Leite of Leite’s Culinaria asked several food editors what kind of writing they were looking for. With his permission, I’ll quote the answers he received.

John Willoughby of the New York Times (and formerly of Gourmet magazine) said, “What we’re all looking for is unusual new ideas. You can only find those by having a lot of food experiences, from cooking at home to traveling to Asia, and by reading —though not necessarily in the food field. I found my first food idea, about the diet of the Pima Indians, in an AIDS journal. So read everything.”

Pamela Kaufman of Food & Wine responded, “If you don’t have a lot of clips or food experience, start small. Write restaurant reviews for your local paper, write for a web site or start your own. Also, be an attentive reader — and eater.”

Margot True of Saveur suggested,”It’s very acceptable to send a spec piece, which is another avenue to take if a writer doesn’t have clips. If you’re interested in our front-of-the-book section, “Saveur Fare,” it’s easier if you write the piece and send it in. It gives our editors an idea of how well you understand that section.”

Victoria von Biel of Bon Appetit said, “We have a distinct split between editorial and recipe development. I don’t necessarily look for formal culinary training. But while you don’t need to be a trained chef, you do need to have a passion for this. Read the magazines, read the cookbooks and immerse yourself in the subject matter. It will show in your writing. I’m also a big believer in continuing education. Take cooking classes — and writing classes.”

As you see, these editors are looking for writers, who know what they are talking about.

You can’t fake it. But, in my opinion, this doesn’t mean you have a spend a fortune getting a degree in journalism and then occupy the next three years immersed in a professional culinary school.

R.W. Johnny Apple

The late R.W. “Johnny” Apple was a New York Times foreign correspondent who loved eating and drinking and became a prolific food writer. Like many successful writers he traveled extensively and had plenty to say.

You don’t have to follow any one else’s example, you can stay at home and, like Andy Rooney, simply comment on the passing scene. His ability to do this is unrivaled because he has nailed the profile of the CBS 60 Minutes viewer.

On a personal note, there are times when even the best of us total miss the mark in knowing our audience. Even moi! For several years, I was the keynote speaker at the annual IACP (International Association of Culinary Professionals) Conferences. My talks were given at the end of lunch when the members were, (not to put too fine a point on it), — fairly sloshed, having suffered the lengthy and totally boring business session during which vast quantities of wine had been consumed. I delighted in poking fun at the food establishment in general and Martha the Magnificent in particular. It was a wonderfully receptive, though undeniably, tipsy audience.

One year I decided instead to talk about world hunger… Julia Child was seated at the head table. When I had finished, she said, “Irena dear, That was the boringest speech I’ve ever heard.” She was right of course. Wrong topic. Wrong time. Wrong audience.

More about honing your own unique voice and the right audience for your words next Wednesday.

Correction to Post Above:

I was remiss in not pointing out the article to which I refer was published in Writer’s Digest in 2004. This was an excellent review, and I believe the information to be as current and useful today as it was then. I should also add that Cara De Silva emailed to say “Margo True has been at Sunset Magazine for a long time now.”