It is hugely expensive to attend a conference, even a small conference. There is the cost of registration added to the air fare and hotel, as well as a hair do and even perhaps some smart new clothes. Then, there is the odd drink or two and maybe a lunch or dinner off site too. All these big bucks are spent with the vague hope something good will come of it.

Networking is the word that hovers on every lip. It is a good word, a good concept but one that may be interpreted in different ways.

Some people plan meetings for every second of every day. With furrowed brow, smart phones and a plethora of digital devices they race about “conducting business.”

I wish I were so organized. I have attended the IACP — International Association of Culinary Professionals — for 30 odd years, and I’ve never had a plan. I just wandered about talking to whoever happened to be nearby. I did carry a stack of business cards, just in case. I found this absolute lack of any sensible organization has worked wonderfully well.

Instead of making “connections,” I have made many lifelong friends. We’ve helped each other with our individual hopes and dreams and yes, business ventures too.

So my fond hope is that everyone attending the IACP  conference in Austin which begins today, will follow their own path and explore every fork in the road. There will be many delightful surprises along the way. And with a little bit of luck, be richly rewarded in ways you never anticipated.

As I peer into the future, I can already begin to make some forecasts about the elements of a meal in 2010.

A
American Cuisine will continue to be ‘IN.’ Every one, (or at least some people) believes New American Cuisine is the future. (Though trying to define American Cuisine is as difficult as trying to pet a porcupine.)

There will be an App for appetite control. New diet drugs may kill you but what a swell corpse you will make.

Appetizers will morph into little meals.

Researchers at Emory University will make significant progress to finding a solution for the 11 million Americans suffering from allergies.

B
There no longer will be a clear definition between foods that are eaten for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Instead, we will eat what we want to eat when we want to eat.

Single servings will continue to be the new darlings on supermarket shelves. Singles bars will morph into communal tables.

Boneless. Everything we eat will be boneless and pre-cut into bite-size pieces, so there will be no need for knives and forks on the table.

C
Chocolate business cards will be the new thing: they will be either white and sweet or dark and bitter.

Chic is a concept that is no longer fashionable. Cash, as in casual-ization, will be the new mantra.

Cakes decorated with real-life photographs of the honoree at the moment of triumph will become all too familiar.

Cookies: some wishful thinkers will believe that two little cookies don’t contain as many calories as one regular one.

D
Durian fruit will become the new kiwi now that scientists have removed the odious smell of unwashed socks from it.

Do It Yourself (DIY) will be the even more popular new mantra.

E
Eating Utensils. We will carry our own collapsible chopsticks in tiny perma-sterile compartments inside the latest version of an iPod.

F
French fries will become the new “health” food. They will be sizzled in “good-for-you” oils.

Every new food will be adaptable for serving in fast food outlets in a recognizable form, preferably shaped like a finger, though not necessarily a fish finger, as fish don’t actually have fingers. It must contain all four essential food groups, i.e., it must be greasy, salty, sweet and crunchy.

G
Goats, that will be got, will gallop onto many legislative agendas and restaurant menus.

H
Healthy Food Talk will continue to consume endless amounts of time and energy. Today most people are succumbing to degenerative diseases and the consequences of lifestyle choices. Death, despite the claims of some, is in fact not an option. Only plastic bags live forever.

I
I will be a guest speaker at cooking schools and colleges and the IACP (International Association of Culinary Professionals) this year.

J
“Juicy” and “scandalous” stories will whet the appetite mainly because they allow us minor sinners to feel momentarily superior to our former idols.

K
Kimchee will be the new craze. It tastes so much better than kabbage.

L
‘Lovely’ will not be the word to describe the bacon martini craze.

M
Mood foods will maintain their popularity as consumers embrace emotional management strategies, including ‘purpose driven eating’.

N
“No!” will be the most popular dietary concept.

O
Onions that won’t make you cry will soon become available, brought to you by the biotechies.

P
The restaurant Per Se will continue to per-sonify the pur-suit of per-fection.

Q
Quote: “Anyone who thinks the way to a man’s heart is though his stomach, flunked geography.”

R
Robots will milk the cows, feed the chickens, plant the crops and gather the harvest. (Robots never need a break and require no benefits beyond an occasional kick-start and a squirt of motor oil.)

S
Sustainable cuisine is an idea that will continue to gather strength.

Sturgeon is now farm-raised along with spuds in Idaho. The new state license plate will be: Idaho, Land of Fish and Chips.

T
Twitter. The Top 10 tweeters were and will be:
Coca-Cola
Starbucks
Disney
Victoria’s Secret
iTunes
Vitaminwater
YouTube
Chick-Fil-A
Red Bull
T.G.I.Fridays

U
U won’t need echinacea to cure the common cold according to a published review in The American Journal of Medicine. (There was simply not enough evidence to say whether it actually worked.)

V
Valedictorian speaker Garrison Keillor is likely to say again, “Eat your veggies!” (It’s a good line.)

W
Wrapped. Everything will be wrapped. The objective is absolute food safety. The goal will be to produce all our produce in biodegradable materials, i.e., within a banana-like sterile peel.

White tablecloths will be disposed (of).

X
EXcellent reporting will continue to be found daily on Food News Journal.

Y
Yum! Brands, Inc. restaurants will expand to meet its customers’ eternal love in over 110 countries and territories for yummy pizza, tacos and fried chicken.

Z

Zealot definition: One who is zealous, especially excessively so. So (James Bond) let’s talk about my friend “M”.

Illustration by Charley Harper

What is a literary agent? And, do I need one when I want to write a cookbook? I love reading cookbooks. How can I make a food job out of that? I’ve lost count how many times I’m asked those questions.

Like a memorable dish made of the best ingredients, a great agent is one part editor and coach, one part advocate, one part broker, one part marketing, trend spotter and visionary savant, spiced with wit and sage advice. The best agent buys the champagne when the book idea is sold, and later published.

A literary agent represents the author of a book idea to publishers and ensures that every transaction you, (the writer), make to work with the publisher is fair and reasonable. It is as important to find the right literary agent, who will represent your work passionately, as it is to find the right publisher to produce your work respectfully.

Only a small group of literary agents devote most of their energies to cookbooks and culinary subjects. Most work on the east or west coast, where the large publishing houses are located. They can be hard to find outside of culinary organizations like the IACP (International Association of Culinary Professionals). Many authors thank their agent on the acknowledgment pages of their book, so with just a little detective work you can easily track them down.

“Having (literary) representation tells an editor that your book project has been vetted by a professional who thinks highly enough of you or your topic to take it on,” reveals Lisa Ekus, founder and owner of the Lisa Ekus Group, a literary agent for numerous cookbooks and culinary public relations and media training agency.

Sadly, it is almost as difficult to find an agent as it is to find a publisher these days. An agent won’t waste her or his time trying to sell a proposal unless she or he thinks it will find a home. So before you write that cookbook, it is important to know what you’re getting yourself into. Writing a cookbook, no matter how great the idea, is not easy. As veteran executive editor and director of cooking publishing at HarperCollins for almost two decades, Susan R. Friedland recently pointed out in her remarkably insightful FOOD ARTS article, “Nowadays, even famous chefs find it as challenging to get a book published as to score a multi-star review in a major metropolitan daily.”

Friedland adds, “A wise chef, who is lucky enough to have stirred the interest of a publisher or has the urge to write a cookbook, should hire an agent, preferably one who represents other cookbook authors and knows the terrain. It’s advisable to ask around to get recommendations from colleagues and then interview several potential agents. It’s important to find a compatible agent, as you will be spending a fair amount of time together (if not in person, by e-mail and telephone) and will want to partner with someone with whom you can work well.” (See below for Friedland’s top literary agent and food editor picks.)

Other than access to publishers — which is critically important — the agent negotiates the author’s contract. The focus is on: (1) the amount of money given to the author as an advance, (2) manuscript delivery dates, and (3) royalty scales. If these terms sound unfamiliar, you need an agent.

Usually an agent asks the author to sign a contract stipulating the agency will receive a commission for her services, which means a percentage of the funds advanced to the author and of all future book royalties. (This is generally in the 15 percent range.)

The author receives payment in stages; the first is received when the contract is signed and the next at different points in the process. All are contingent on the author meeting the terms of the contract. Usually there are no more than three payments. This typical schedule is a kind of insurance for the publisher, who wants to make sure the author won’t complain too loudly or actually refuse to make any of the editor’s suggested changes.

The agent also negotiates the vexing question of who pays for certain things such as photography. Sometimes the publisher advances the cost of photography, but the fees may be deducted from the author’s future earnings. Agents often find and negotiate the author’s collaborators, (as is often the case for restaurant chefs stuck in the kitchen), or the occasional ghost writer. Occasionally the agent is able to persuade the publisher to pay for the book’s index, though frequently this is a cost billed to the author.

Becoming A Literary Agent:

Sadly, one is not born a literary agent, rather one becomes a literary agent over time and with experience. Just ask legendary literary agent, Jane Dystel of Dystel & Goderich Literary Management. To get started in this field, apply for a position with an agency that is representing the kind of books that appeal to you.

While you are sure to learn all the steps involved in selling a book to the right publisher, it is most critical that you love to read. All literary agents start by reading through the “slush” pile of book proposals, seeking that rare gem that will lead to gold.

FOOD ARTS Magazine

As mentioned, here is Susan Friedland’s top literary agent and food editor picks, courtesy of FOOD ARTS magazine:

TOP AGENTS
David Black David Black Literary Agency, New York City, 212-242-5080
Doe Coover The Doe Coover Agency, Win-chester, MA, info@doecooveragency.com
Janis Donnaud Janis A. Donnaud and Associates, New York City, donnaudassociate@aol.com
Jennifer Griffin The Miller Agency, New York City, Jennifer@milleragency.net
Angela Miller The Miller Agency, New York City, angela@milleragency.net
Judith Weber Sobel Weber Associates, New York City, info@sobelweber.com

TOP EDITORS
Ann Bramson Artisan Books, New York City, info@artisanbooks.com
Pam Chirls John Wiley & Sons, Hoboken, NJ, pchirls@wiley.com
Maria Guarnaschelli W.W. Norton & Company, New York City, mguarnaschelli@wwnorton.com
Dan Halpern Ecco Press, New York City, virginia.smith@harpercollins.com
Judith Jones Knopf, New York City, 212-782-9000
Pam Kraus Rodale, Emmaus, PA, info@rodale.com
William LeBlond Chronicle Books, San Francisco, bill_leblond@chroniclebooks.com
Rux Martin Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, Boston, rux.martin@harcourt.com
Suzanne Rafer Workman Press, New York City, suzanne@workman.com
Anja Schmidt Dorling Kindersley, New York City editor@dk.com
Geoffrey Stone Running Press, Philadelphia, geoffrey.stone@perseusbooks.com
Aaron Wehner Ten Speed Press, Berkeley, CA, aaron.wehner@tenspeed.com