“Writing is not a contest. Every writer is starting from a different point and is bound for a different destination. Yet many writers are paralyzed by the thought that they are competing with everybody else who is trying to write and presumably doing it better. This can often happen in a writing class. Inexperienced students are chilled to find themselves in the same class with students whose byline has appeared in the college newspaper. But writing for the college paper is no great credential; I’ve often found that the hares who write for the paper are overtaken by tortoises who move studiously toward the goal of mastering the craft. The same fear cripples freelance writers, who see the work of other writers appearing in magazines while their own keeps returning in the mail. Forget the competition and go at your own pace. Your only contest is with yourself.”

—William Zinsser, author of On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction

Writers are forever being asked how they get their ideas. It’s easy. Just pick a subject, for example, salt, sugar, coffee, tea or garlic. For example you could write an entire essay on any of these apple topics:

Adam’s apple

An apple a day

Apple aromatherapy

Apple cart: who upset it?

Apple cider

Apple facts: In 2010, an Italian-led consortium announced they had decoded the complete genome of the apple (Golden delicious variety). It had about 57,000 genes, the highest number of any plant genome studied to date and more genes than the human genome (about 30,000).

Apple for the teacher: We’re confused about apples. “They” say we should give an apple to the teacher, even though the teacher might prefer to receive a nice bottle of wine. “They” say red wine is good for us. And we should exercise more.  This sounds to me like a regime in which we should jog from bar to bar.

Apple pie: When Mom serves an apple pie it is still interpreted as a loving thing to do  — even a frozen apple pie from the supermarket, when reheated in the microwave is like a “gift” to the family, as though we’re nostalgically holding hands with from one generation to the next.

Apple lore

Apple of my eye: (You are mine, believe me.)

Apple pie bed

Apple quote: Mark Twain observed: “Adam was but human — this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple’s sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden.”

Applebee’s corporate philosophy

Apples in advertising

Apples in art

Apples in history

Apples in literature

Apples in religion: Apples are eaten with honey at the Jewish New Year of Rosh Hashanah to symbolize a sweet new year.

Applesauce

Appletini: A martini is a martini by any other name

Bad apple

Big apple

Big Mac apple computer

Big Mac apple dipper (how sweet is is…)

Candy apples

Cooking techniques

Cooking tools

Cornell pomology department: foremost study center

Curious customs: dunking for apples

Dried apple dolls

Farmer: Farmers are asked (nicely) to grow apples that are exactly 3 ½ inches in diameter. This is because supermarkets can cram the largest number of 3 ½ inch apples into the smallest space while building a geometrically perfect display that won’t topple.  A 3½-inch was a big apple breakthrough. It followed the previous triumph in which apple trees were dwarfed to a uniform height that enables an apple picker to harvest the crop without having to climb up and down a ladder all day long.

Geographical distribution of apples: 2,500 named apple varieties are grown in the United States with more than 7,500 produced worldwide, according to the U.S. Apple Association.

Only about 100 varieties are grown commercially, with 15 making up 90 percent of the harvest. These mass-market selections are bred primarily for their appearance, high yields, size, bruise-resistance – and longer shelf life. (Wikipedia)

Golden apple

Gwyneth Paltrow named her child Apple. Why?

Heirloom apple seeds

History: Apples have a very long history that seemingly began with Adam and Eve in which it is depicted as both the symbol of temptation and disobedience while in the bible it is designated as the Tree of Knowledge in the bible.  Thus the apple has both a good reputation and a bad one. This notion nicely satisfies our yearning to sin and repent simultaneously. When Adam took a bite from the apple, he and Eve were damned and expelled from the Garden of Eden. Immediately they went forth and multiplied. (Current world population is 6,602,224,175 (July 2007 est.)

How to make a dried apple doll

How to make an apple pie (recipe)

How to store apples

Johnny Appleseed

Lifecycle from seed to harvest

Newton’s apple

Nutrition

Old Wives tales

Origin of The Big Apple

Poisoned apple: Mythology of the Sleeping Beauty

Public relations apple expert

Scientist

Specialized apple cooking equipment

Storing apples

Varieties of apples (there are an estimated 7,500 apple cultivars)

Now it’s your turn.

Every few weeks I’m invited to speak to the newly arriving students at culinary school. I tell them I teach a class on love affairs.

I am the matchmaker.

I want to know what each student loves (not what he or she likes) to do.

With a little bit of luck, I can suggest ways in which they can marry their hobby or unique skills with their culinary knowledge as they seek a long and fruitful career.

I’m astonished to discover how many budding chefs yearn to own a truck. A truck that serves every kind of food from cupcakes and rice pudding to Korean barbecue.

Today I talked about the calendar. The US Tennis Open is coming up. So is the World Series. A sports fan may want to cook at the private dining room of a sports franchise or become a private chef for an athlete.

Dancing with the Stars employs a personal chef for each competition. Personal chef jobs are on the rise. It is one of the best jobs for an entrepreneur who can start a business without requiring a capital investment.

I spoke about jobs in art and design; photographer, food stylist, kitchen designer, and special event cake designer. Create a wedding cake in oil and acrylic paint to frame and preserve for ever and ever (or as long as the marriage lasts.) become a chef in a museum, create a food exhibit, become a lecturer on the topic of food in fine art? Become a recipe developer for Panera or Starbucks (or Dunkin D’s.)

Tasting is a good and well paying job. Taste ice cream, coffee, tea, olive oil. Chew gum. No kidding. Nestle is one of the companies that employs chewing gum tasters. There are real jobs that require super taster to… well…taste…all day. .

How about becoming an ethicist, a futurist or a trend tracker?

Or work on Wall Street analyzing food companies?

Or work for a food foundation or as a humanitarian or lobbyist or inspector to trace the source of contaminated food.

Here are just a few ideas for working in the food media: investigative journalist, vegetarian columnist, historian, folklorist (why do so many Jews go out for Chinese dinner on Sundays?)  The late Professor Alan Dundes examined this question with his students who also study the allure of violent sports, holiday traditions and even the mystique of the vampire.

Said Dundes: “As a psychoanalytic folklorist, my professional goals are to make sense of nonsense, find a rationale for the irrational and seek to make the unconscious conscious.”

How about taking up a career as a food memoir writer, biographer, commentator, geographer (do you know what a food geographer does?) trade magazine reporter, supermarket observer, radio host, (I’d like this job myself,) essayist, restaurant reviewer, food book reviewer (not only cookbooks but also food books dealing with politics, profiles of food companies etc.), catalog writer, TV star, ingredient shopper for TV star, TV producer, obituary writer for former food celebrities. Preparer of last meals in the federal penitentiary leading to a possible book contract for Meals to Die For.

I had only three minutes to describe my food jobs class so I didn’t have time to even mention careers in education, farming, science and technology or rare, unusual and extraordinary culinary careers so instead, I’ll get around to them in this blog. Please come back soon.

And.

Have a nice day (as they say at the bank!)