How To Be Your Own Best Friend

Several years ago there was a book written by psychologist Mildred Newman with the title, How To Be Your Own Best Friend.  If I were your best friend, I would advise you not to write a cookbook.

I don’t want to be entirely negative about it, but I cannot, in all candor, think of any other way to be these days.  Unfortunately, for many authors, the best news they receive is that they are going to get a contract.  After that, it is all downhill.

The sad truth is that very few cookbooks earn back their advance, and even fewer go on to achieve anything approaching lasting success.

Most cookbooks have a shelf life somewhere between milk and yogurt. The two biggest sellers are desserts (dessert books best sellers 2011) and diet books (163 on Amazon in 2011).  One tells you how to cook the food and the other offers advice on how to avoid eating it.

And, The Winner Is…

If we made a list of the books that have survived for more than a year, let alone five or 10 years, there would be only a handful; heading the list are: Mastering The Art of French Cooking by Julia Child and The Silver Palate Cookbook by Julee Rosso and Sheila Lukins.  Both have had multi-million copy sales but they had forces other than good recipes and good writing that made them into successes.

Let’s take a look at Mastering The Art of French Cooking as a case study because there is a lot to be learned from this book. First, you should know that it was rejected by 11 publishers before being accepted by Judith Jones at Alfred A. Knopf publishers (now Knopf), who offered an advance of only $250 for three people!

The authors not only accepted this paltry sum with gratitude, they went out and celebrated.

Despite all the rejections, Julia and her collaborators, Simone Beck and Louisette Bertholie kept on trying because they believed in their work. It was passion that drove them on — not the money.

Incidentally, did you know that Mastering the Art of French Cooking has not been translated into French or Japanese. Maybe this is something you could do?

Among my very favorite books spanning many lands and cultures are:

• French Provincial Cooking by Elizabeth David
• Simple French Food by Richard Olney
• The Essentials of Classic Italian Cookery by Marcella Hazan
• The Art of Mexican Cooking by Diana Kennedy
• Madhur Jaffrey’s Indian Cookery by Madhur Jaffrey
• The Georgian Feast by Darra Goldstein
• The Splendid Table by Lynne Rosseto Kasper
• Jewish Cooking in America by Joan Nathan and her many books on Jewish food

There are the science-based, know how it works inspired cook books of which the perpetually curious Harold McGee and incomparable Shirley Corriher must definitely be included.

Among the best of the restaurant books are The Zuni Cafe Cookbook by Judy Rodgers and The New Moosewood Cookbook by Mollie Katzen.

And, writings about food into which category I’d place at the top, Epitaph for a Peach by David Maas Masimoto and Good Things by Jane Grigson.

I’d also include the literary and gustatory cookbooks:

• The Cook and the Gardener by Amanda Hesser
• Roast Chicken and Other Stories by Simon Hopkinson
• Uncommon Fruits and Vegetables & The Essential Reference: Vegetables From A – Z by Elizabeth Schneider
• How to Cook Everything by Mark Bittman

This brings me to writing about food and in this category I’d include:

• Cod: A Biography and indeed, all Mark Kurlansky’s books
• The Story of Corn by Betty Fussell
• History of the World in Six Glasses by Tom Standage
• Honey from a Weed by Patience Grey

Fortunately there is always room for more, many more, great books. What is your favorite?

Dressed to Kill, photo John French. London, UK, 1963

I used to have a beautiful apartment with a long staircase in a lovely brownstone in Manhattan. I also had a cookbook publishing and packaging company there.

One day I invited an old friend, Peter Kump, for lunch. At the time, he was running a cooking school in the neighborhood, that he eventually turned into the Institute of Culinary Education (ICE).

As we were chatting, a thin trickle of blood peeped shyly from his nose. I didn’t comment. (I am British. British people do not comment.)

“Peter,” I said, calmly, “Let’s adjourn to the living room. Here, lie down and put your feet up.” Peter held the wad of bloodied paper to his face as I toyed with the idea of dialing 911 to scream for medical attention.

The doorbell rang. Who could this be? Excusing myself, I went down the stairs and answered the door.

A very tall young woman stood before me. Masses of hair. Thick fur coat. Crimson lips. Stiletto heels. Instantly I hate her.

“I’ve come for the interview,” she states. Hmmm. She thinks I forgot about the interview. She’s right. I did.

“Ah,” says I. “Do come in. I’m delighted to see you.” (Note: time-perfected British method of extreme put down by employing use of charming greeting in direct contrast to applicant’s curt statement of fact.)

Woman walks up stairs. Enters living room. Stops abruptly. Stares at Peter on the couch.

“This is Peter,” I say. “I’ve just shot him. Would you please help me throw him out of the window?”

“I just came for the interview,” she responds, restating her previous purpose.

“Well,” I retort. “If you are not prepared to pitch in, I’m afraid there isn’t a job for you here. May I show you the way to the door?”

Woman exits. She has spoken exactly 11 words (five of them twice). Peter roars with laughter. Bleeding has stopped. Lunch resumes at the dining table.

This is actually a true story though I blush to tell it as it seems so heartless in retrospect. I never crossed paths with this young woman again. Occasionally I wonder if she interpreted the entire scene differently.

There is a point to this story. As soon as I’d met her, I’d made up my mind I was not going to hire this woman. Other employers possibly would think the same way so:

• Interview Tip #1: Be aware that first impressions happen literally in the blink of an eye. If you don’t believe me, read the excellent Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell. As one Amazon reviewer, Michael Erisman, noted, “the book centers on the concept of how fast we really do make judgments, called “thin slicing,” and how deeper analysis can sometimes provide less information than more. It is all about cognitive speed.”
• Interview Tip #2: Smile. Say, “Good Afternoon.” Provide your name and don’t wear a fur coat to an interview.