My Job: Food In The News Forecaster

One of the greatest jobs in the world is to be a food forecaster, a food futurist if you will. Of course all predictions about the future are based on close scrutiny of the past. Here are a few Food in the News morsels from A to Z I’ve recently gathered for comment:

A
Alone: 31.406.497 Americans live alone. Maybe they could strike up a lonely-hearts band width?

Avocados: The avocado crop survived the recent Chilean earthquake. Close to 300 million pounds of avocados were shipped in the first week following the earthquake. We may soon be facing a guacamole gridlock.

B
Bacon fat is the next big thing for seasoning popcorn. Additional flavorings include fried sage and Parmesan cheese. When emptied, the  standard size popcorn bucket can be used as a trash can.

Beer: An article published in the Science of Food and Agriculture allows us to consider the astonishing evidence that beers containing lots of hops may (or presumably may not?) promote better bone health.

C
Caviar: The famed Petrossian caviar czars are offering small squares of pressed caviar cutely un-charismatically named caviarcubes.

Cheese: Global consumption is anticipated to reach 21 million metric tons by 2015. Say cheese, please!

D
DNA: Scientists have decoded and labeled the DNA of single estate chocolate (much like Bordeaux wine). Molé!

Moray eel

E
Eels have failed to gain traction on U.S. dining tables.

F
Foragers are employed by upscale urban restaurants to forage…though exactly for what and where we do not  know.

G
Gourmet food trucks are all the rage. We hope they keep on truckin’!

H
Holiday meals:  The Passover Seder permits wine but not spirits. However if  the religious observer yearns for something quicker, a San Francisco distillery has  created what it  believes to be the first kosher-for-Passover gin. Sedertini anyone?

I
Irish coffee contains the four essential food groups: caffeine, sugar, cream and alcohol.

J
Junk food: A well-intentioned effort is underway to banish the junk from junk food though everyone knows if it doesn’t contain junk it ain’t worth eating.

K
Kogi chef, Roy Choi, who produces short-rib tacos and sells them from his mobile truck is said though, (not by him), to have made $2,000,000 last year on guest checks averaging $13 a pop.

L
Lollipops. The news that lollipops are for suckers is gaining currency.

M
Money doesn’t grow on trees—it sprouts on hedges.

N
Naked Chef Jamie Oliver is baring all as he braces for widespread opposition to his efforts to reform obese school kids.

O
Oysters. Bartenders are adding oysters to stouts.

P
Peanuts: A cure for peanut allergy is nearing reality according to the American Association for the Advancement of Science.

Q
Quorn: For generations, it has been thought quorn has a future. So far, nobody knows what it is.

R
Rhubarb: Heirloom rhubarb  has lately achieved near reverential status.

S
Salt: Lawmakers are speaking darkly about banning salt in restaurants. O.K. Let ‘em eat fleur de sel instead.

Slaughter houses are in demand by ‘locavore’ farmers, who seek kindheartedness for their dearly departing.

Sushi robots can produce more than 1,2000 pieces of sushi an hour. Few experienced sushi chefs can prepare 200 pieces by hand.

T
Tuna: Legislators have denied endangered status and species protection for blue fin tuna. Sushi robots may also face unemployment.

U
Unless we stop eating and drinking, it seems inevitable we will be get fatter.

V
Vino: In vino veritas. The invitation reads Lunch will be gin at noon. Turned out to be a typo. Pity!

W
Whale sales have been banished in sushi bars. Bring on the Brussels sprouts.

X
X is a letter that is a component in many drugs but no foods.

Y
Yogurt is fast becoming the next cool thing.

Z
Zealots: The food police demands abstinence. This is nothing wrong with sexual abstinence or advocacy of a vegan diet or any other diet of denial, but not everyone can be counted on to go along with the program in the future.

Speaking of the future, you can find my future (and past) Food in the News forecasts on IrenaChalmers.com.