As I peer into the future, I can already begin to make some forecasts about the elements of a meal in 2010.
American Cuisine will continue to be ‘IN.’ Every one, (or at least some people) believes New American Cuisine is the future. (Though trying to define American Cuisine is as difficult as trying to pet a porcupine.)
There will be an App for appetite control. New diet drugs may kill you but what a swell corpse you will make.
Appetizers will morph into little meals.
Researchers at Emory University will make significant progress to finding a solution for the 11 million Americans suffering from allergies.
There no longer will be a clear definition between foods that are eaten for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Instead, we will eat what we want to eat when we want to eat.
Single servings will continue to be the new darlings on supermarket shelves. Singles bars will morph into communal tables.
Boneless. Everything we eat will be boneless and pre-cut into bite-size pieces, so there will be no need for knives and forks on the table.
Chocolate business cards will be the new thing: they will be either white and sweet or dark and bitter.
Chic is a concept that is no longer fashionable. Cash, as in casual-ization, will be the new mantra.
Cakes decorated with real-life photographs of the honoree at the moment of triumph will become all too familiar.
Cookies: some wishful thinkers will believe that two little cookies don’t contain as many calories as one regular one.
Durian fruit will become the new kiwi now that scientists have removed the odious smell of unwashed socks from it.
Do It Yourself (DIY) will be the even more popular new mantra.
Eating Utensils. We will carry our own collapsible chopsticks in tiny perma-sterile compartments inside the latest version of an iPod.
French fries will become the new “health” food. They will be sizzled in “good-for-you” oils.
Every new food will be adaptable for serving in fast food outlets in a recognizable form, preferably shaped like a finger, though not necessarily a fish finger, as fish don’t actually have fingers. It must contain all four essential food groups, i.e., it must be greasy, salty, sweet and crunchy.
Goats, that will be got, will gallop onto many legislative agendas and restaurant menus.
Healthy Food Talk will continue to consume endless amounts of time and energy. Today most people are succumbing to degenerative diseases and the consequences of lifestyle choices. Death, despite the claims of some, is in fact not an option. Only plastic bags live forever.
I will be a guest speaker at cooking schools and colleges and the IACP (International Association of Culinary Professionals) this year.
“Juicy” and “scandalous” stories will whet the appetite mainly because they allow us minor sinners to feel momentarily superior to our former idols.
Kimchee will be the new craze. It tastes so much better than kabbage.
‘Lovely’ will not be the word to describe the bacon martini craze.
Mood foods will maintain their popularity as consumers embrace emotional management strategies, including ‘purpose driven eating’.
“No!” will be the most popular dietary concept.
Onions that won’t make you cry will soon become available, brought to you by the biotechies.
The restaurant Per Se will continue to per-sonify the pur-suit of per-fection.
Quote: “Anyone who thinks the way to a man’s heart is though his stomach, flunked geography.”
Robots will milk the cows, feed the chickens, plant the crops and gather the harvest. (Robots never need a break and require no benefits beyond an occasional kick-start and a squirt of motor oil.)
Sustainable cuisine is an idea that will continue to gather strength.
Sturgeon is now farm-raised along with spuds in Idaho. The new state license plate will be: Idaho, Land of Fish and Chips.
Twitter. The Top 10 tweeters were and will be:
U won’t need echinacea to cure the common cold according to a published review in The American Journal of Medicine. (There was simply not enough evidence to say whether it actually worked.)
Valedictorian speaker Garrison Keillor is likely to say again, “Eat your veggies!” (It’s a good line.)
Wrapped. Everything will be wrapped. The objective is absolute food safety. The goal will be to produce all our produce in biodegradable materials, i.e., within a banana-like sterile peel.
White tablecloths will be disposed (of).
EXcellent reporting will continue to be found daily on Food News Journal.
Yum! Brands, Inc. restaurants will expand to meet its customers’ eternal love in over 110 countries and territories for yummy pizza, tacos and fried chicken.
Zealot definition: One who is zealous, especially excessively so. So (James Bond) let’s talk about my friend “M”.