Diet Resolutions

I dare not taste one drop of oil

For if I do, my health I’ll spoil

I’d spread my bread with gobs of butter

But that would set my doc aflutter.

Don’t serve me poultry, pork or beef

Or I will surely come to grief,

And that fine fish just from the sea

Would, fried, become the death of me.

At breakfast I must never poke

My fork at any golden yolk,

And salt, to which I was a slave

Now lures me to an early grave.

Sugar, friend of shildhood, sweet,

Is now a rare, forbidden treat.

A shot of gin, a glass of wine,

Add up to sins times nine,

For Julia is no more my guide

‘Tis to Nathan Pritikins’ rules I must abide

Farewell to all the eats I love

Farewell, so long, to all the above.

But as I chomp through fields of green

And shrink each day to sinewy lean,

Teach me, dear Lord,

Not to wish each course

Was rare roast beef

With béarnaise sauce…

One thought on “Diet Resolutions

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