We may go to “destination restaurants,” just once in a lifetime. We tread in their hallowed halls with reverential awe.

El Bulli was just such a paradise. It shone brightly in the exalted galaxy of gastronomy. Disciples flocked to hear the angels of Ferran Adria sing in perfect harmony. We bowed our heads, murmured our hushed Amens and departed with full hearts and empty wallets.

There are “those” restaurants — and all the others…

To open a new restaurant is a daunting undertaking fraught with danger and near death experiences.

Everyone knows: location is everything…though, of course there are exceptions to every rule and some restaurants thrive mightily in unlikely spots, but even a simple neighborhood restaurant must have a long gestation period.  Nine months is barely enough time to think through a cohesive strategy.

As I mentioned in an earlier posting: the first question for a restaurateur to ponder is who lives and works nearby, and who will become regular guests? Are they wheeler-dealers or bikers? Meat eaters or locavorian vegetarians? Will they be doctors and dentists or driver’s license dispensers? Are they blue-plate seekers or diners-after-darkers? Are they (YIS’s) Young Impoverished Students? Or WOOFS (Well-Off-Older-People?)

Nothing can proceed logically until a decision is made about the composition of the target market. This demographic definition will dictate the design of the space and the content of the menu.  Indeed it will (or should) point the way to every effective decision from the marketing and publicity to the “voice” of the servers who may welcome a table of four hedge funders or frown upon a young couple wearing dirty sneakers and an infant on their hip.

Speaking of hip, white has become the super sophisticated color of hyper COOL fine dining. Sound is hushed. White tablecloths have given way to austere bare wood surfaces that provide stark contrast with white walls and white light. Food is plated back in the kitchen — precisely — on large white plates by white- jacketed chefs and presented, formally, by bowing white-shirted servers.

White is what color is not.

Color was once HOT.

restaurant impresario Joe Baum

At the legendary La Fonda del Sol opened by Joe Baum, fashion designers draped the waiters in ponchos, serapes, and high-heeled matador boots. In the dining room, color was used as architecture.

The room’s sun-drenched adobe walls set off vibrant purple and orange banquettes. Chefs tended spits and grills laden with suckling pigs, legs of lamb, sides of beef, and whole turkeys that turned slowly and aromatically over beds of glowing coals. Cauldrons of soup simmered to the beat of the marimba and mariachi bands. Big food was center stage.

The atmosphere was infused with excitement and gaiety that was reflected in the advertising campaign, featuring a mustachioed hombre with eyes closed and head on the table, who made various wise-guy pronouncements such as: “We are not responsible for deals and bargains struck during meal periods. There is to be no dancing on the tables after midnight. And, if you go home with someone other than the person you came with it is no fault of the management.”

It has been said, “Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.”

Maybe.

But it works for restaurants.

If there was a parliament of pastry, Apple Pie would be the prime minister and Johnny Appleseed its roving ambassador.

They say nothing is as American as apple pie but Isaac Newton, knowing the gravity of making such a claim, could have upset the apple cart by pointing out humble pies appear throughout the world.

Some think the best apple pie is topped with ice cream.  Others insist an apple pie order isn’t complete without a slice of cheddar cheese. Modern folk mindlessly munch mini-pies nuked from the microwave; others dream of apple pie and visualize Norman Rockwell’s Mom in her red checkered apron with the straps criss-crossing like a pastry lattice across her back.  They say nothing is as loving as a pie, golden, delicious and hot from the oven baked for the apple of her eye.

Adam and Eve, George Washington, Norman Rockwell, McDonald’s and Steve Jobs had vastly different views of apples and apps.

Clearly apple pie is a state of mind.

For the fortunate an apple pie is a pie of cake.

Food Job: Bake your own unique apple pies and become a valued supplier for restaurants, country clubs, food trucks and wherever great food is offered.

Food Writer Job:  Become the world’s greatest expert on the topic of apples. Here are a few subjects to cover:

Apple pie origins

Adam’s apple (was it worth the bite in the Garden of Eden? Were Adam and Eve the only couple who were truly made for each other?)

Apple computer

An apple a day keeps the doctor away?

Apple brandy

Apple cider

Apple in mouth of a pig (why?)

Apple martini

Apple nutrition

Apple picking

Apples that don’t fall far from the tree

Apple use in aromatherapy

Applebee’s (restaurant review)

Apples dippers at McDonald’s (opinion of)

Apples in art

Apples in history

Apples in literature

Apples in religion

Bobbing for apples

Candy apple

Curious customs associated with apples

Dried apple dolls

Golden apple of Hesperides

Johnny Appleseed

Lifecycle of an apple from seed to harvest

Newton’s apple

Snow White and the poisoned apple

The Big apple (origin of name)

Varieties of apples

Where apples grow

Which variety to choose for baking an apple pie

You get the idea?  It is a form of word association. You can do this with virtually any single food subject. Begin a blog.

Quote: The first written mention of a fruit pie:
“Thy breath is like the steame of apple-pyes.”
Robert Greene (1590) ‘Arcadia’

A new handmade food gift is cherished every bit as much as an heirloom. Like the work of those who lived before us, we can get by with little or no formal training.

The important thing is to continue to create our own unique signature and pass it along to others who will appreciate and respect the work of those who created cockerel crowing weather vanes, sculptures, teapots and tabletop and kitchen utensils.

Here’s an example of a simple gift for a friend: Fill a rubber (medical) glove with Hershey’s kisses. Attach a note with the words:

“I’d like to give you a hand.”

(ICDT!) (I Can Do That!)